Ghost Letters 幽霊文字

How to Have a Good Conversation

Remedy Proposal

In the last post I wrote about ways to damage a conversation (I am sure there are a lot more). This post will list some ways that help a conversation in my experience.

How can this long list be summed up? While writing this post I realized that I am guilty of all the counter examples and bad manners listed. On some more, on some less, but to a certain degree on all. So why do I often follow paths that I want others to refuse?

Like an alcoholic there is little hope of getting better, without admitting to have faults. And I mean truely admitting. Everybody can agree on platitudes like “nobody is perfect”, “I am just human, so I am wrong from time to time”. Truely admitting means naming the time and the place when I was wrong or at least could have done better just by making a smarter decision. This admission can be just in front of myself.

Besides admitting the faults and willingness to work on them, I think another trait must be cultivated. The trait is to resist our opinion urges. I think there is no salvation. We have to learn to live with contradicting views and arguments. In us and in others.

Much of the bullet list is inspired by the excellent guidelines of hackernews, which help to maintain healthy conversations between strangers on the internet (very rare and unlikely at all times). I highly recommend reading them.


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